JUST ONE THING
5 Lessons for Turning Hurt into Growth
Episode 190
With Rick White, 180BIZ
Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening. My name is Rick White from 180BIZ, and this is Just One Thing.
Every one of us has been hurt, everyone of us has been disappointed, every one of us has been betrayed. At some point, every one of us has been taken advantage of at some point. That's a given — I mean, that's going to happen in life.
The mistake that you make with it though, is you go into protect mode. You go into micromanage mode. You go into making sure you never get hurt again. And in that process, you never end up with a business that you could and should have because you think the hurt was meant to keep you from going through it again, or potentially going through it again.
This is about we're gonna go through disappointments and setbacks, and it doesn't mean we stop doing it. It means we get better at it. It means that we step back and we learn from it, and we do it again more intelligently.
The fact is, you're gonna get hurt. Okay? You're gonna get hurt. You're going to get betrayed. You're going to get let down. But it doesn't mean pull it all in and protect it so that only you can control it, because that's a form of micro managing, okay? And that micro managing is going to stop you from creating the business of your dreams, because you're never going to give people, your people, your team, the bandwidth to go out and do what they could and should be doing.
So I want you to step back when you've got yourself, when you've been hurt, you've got a story. I want you to step back and I want you to dissect your story. I want you to ask yourself, what's real? Because I'm guaranteeing you there are things here that you're filling in, right? You're filling in blanks, and you're creating this story. So I want you to step back, and I want you to recognize what's real. And then the next thing I want you to do is, I want you to be able to realize the facts and then deal with those like, how are you going to deal with those facts? Right? How are you going to do this better so that it never happens again? That's what you want to do.
I will tell you that I had my first shot. I got in a car accident, and I was going through a divorce, was really in a rough space. Basically, had about $30,000 in payables. This is back in 1987 and I decided to give it to somebody for the payables. “I like you take care of the payables and it's yours.” When I did that, we sat down and we talked with all the vendors, and they were very happy to work with them and everything like that. But what you gotta do is be able to step back. Because what happened was, about three years later, the guy went under and all the vendors came after me, and that was a tough time.
That was a really tough time. And I could make up a story about how they took advantage of me, or the guy that I gave it to — give the shop to — took advantage of me. But I can't! Like I gotta own my part in it, right? I gotta own my part in it so that I can step up, right and become a better version of myself as an owner.
So the next time I sold the business, I made sure I got cash and I paid the vendors off. So I didn't just want any guy, didn't want any problems, so I paid off all the vendors, got everything taken care of. It doesn't mean don't do it. It means step back and learn, because it's the only way you're gonna grow.
You want your team to be able to step up, and when you're afraid of getting hurt, you can't be the owner that you could and should be. You end up in a situation where you end up stuck and you end up broken and and it doesn't work. So I just want you to be able to step back and think back to these hurts that you've had. Sometimes it's a betrayal, sometimes it's a disappointment, but something somebody, some point, hurt you in your business, right? So, you know, it might have been a customer, right?
I had a customer that I used to stay late, get their cars done and everything like that. And there ended up being an extenuating circumstances, and they ended up suing me. And I was like, man, where's the loyalty? Where's that coming from?
And you know, the reality is: people are going to be friendly, (but) doesn't mean they're friends. And you gotta remember that that was the lesson I had to learn — that people are going to do what's in their best interest, and that's not a bad thing. It's just a thing.
Okay, so here's what I want you to do. I want you to identify her. Okay? I want you to identify the story. I want you to dig into it, and I want you to find the facts, and then I want you to learn from those facts so that you can step up and do a better job. That's really all there is to this. Okay? Because I'm telling you, there's too many of us, and we're hanging on to these things way too long. We're letting them hold us captive when we shouldn't do that. You want to learn from that hurt, and then you want to grow through it. Does that make sense? You need to grow through the hurt. Okay, so identify your hurt, dig into your story, what's real and what are you going to learn from it.
I've given you two examples where I felt I got taken advantage of, and I learned through it, and it got me better, right? So I learn and then I let it go, right? Learn and let it go that way. There. I'm not carrying this stuff everywhere. I can let it go, I can internalize the lesson, and then I can make all the difference in the world.
Okay, everybody. Thank you so much. If this video helped, please share it.
Also our Free Shop Owners Round Table — second Thursday of every month. If you know somebody that needs some help and they want to get some outside advice, it's a great way to get it.
And then the other thing too is we have our our Pocket Business Genius Webinar Series. If you want to get a little bit more of me, there's about 80 webinars and what as well as live ones every month. So we would love to have you in there as well.
Everybody, take care! Have a great week. I'll see you later. Bye bye.